Alright, so I'm back in T-town. I've been composing a blog post in my head while I walk around town. But, as most thoughts do, they seem to have escaped from my head.
At first when I came back to town, I was painfully lonely, resorted to insomnia, and am just beginning to reacquaint myself with being alone again. Not that I have to be alone, I choose to be alone and to savor these last alone moments before I had back to America and am again roped into the roll of fast-paced life. The way I see it, the insomnia is just how I react anymore to big changes coming in my life. I recall for 6 months before I left for PC, I could not sleep at all. Now that I'm entering into 23 days left, I can't sleep still. And for various and asundry medical reasons, I've been told not to exercise rigorously. I've taken to yoga and am now feeling muscles I haven't used in a long time. It's been a long time in general since I've done yoga. For those of you who knew me then, I totally injured myself doing yoga a few years ago, but don't worry, I'm being as gentle to myself as possible. I'm trying to set up a schedule for myself as much as possible. But really, without having a schedule or actual work to do (I declined to actually commit to work seeing as I only have a few days left) I'm just wandering around to people's houses saying goodbye. I'm also watching a lot of movies, reading a lot of books, and doing a lot of yoga. Oh what a strange ebb and flow of work as a PCV.
As I walk around town, I keep noticing small changes. A new sign here, a house painted a different color than what I remember. T-town is kind of rolling back into the Fall. School has apparently started but I know that there are still lots and lots of people still traveling and not yet back in town.
I remember two years ago, entering into PC and feeling superbly overwhelmed at the prospect of 2 years in a foreign country. I honestly did my best not to think about it. But now that it's over, I'm like, man, where did the time go? Even being back in T-town for a few days makes me squirrely. I know that I need to continue doing my goodbyes and look forward to coming home but my mind is so out to lunch. I'm trying to keep to my schedule but I know that I'm also trying to prepare for the future. I'm applying to jobs while making myself bagels here. I feel like I have one foot on this continent and one foot on the other. It's a weird cognitive dissonance. I know going home is going to take some major adjustments. I'm used to having incredibly slow internet, no tv, sharing food with everyone, including those I don't know, speaking constantly in Arabic or the little Tashylheit I know, meeting up with my counterpart, going to people's houses for crazy sweet mint tea, and generally all the time I spend hanging out in my house, listening to music, making new foods, etc.
I was just watching a movie (doesn't really matter which one it was, just that it was modern and done in a culturally western country) last night that made me think about the way we decorate our houses, dress, eat, sleep. It's so different from here. I feel like most people here are superbly friendly with me and I can count on most people to help me out in a bad situation. I kind of forgot that a lot of western houses have wood insides, plaster versus the cement or mud walls that are here. People outside Morocco don't necessarily dress in long robes and jellabas. When I go outside my house in America, I can wear my hair down, wear shorts and tank tops without attracting loads of harassment. Funny the things you get used to after being gone from America for so long.
Anyways, you've probably had enough of my incoherent babbling. I should probably go wander off to meet my counterpart anyways. It's rough leaving him and his association. He's so used to working with me and I with him. It's kind of a bittersweet time. I'm a bit sad to leave T-town but elated to go home.
At first when I came back to town, I was painfully lonely, resorted to insomnia, and am just beginning to reacquaint myself with being alone again. Not that I have to be alone, I choose to be alone and to savor these last alone moments before I had back to America and am again roped into the roll of fast-paced life. The way I see it, the insomnia is just how I react anymore to big changes coming in my life. I recall for 6 months before I left for PC, I could not sleep at all. Now that I'm entering into 23 days left, I can't sleep still. And for various and asundry medical reasons, I've been told not to exercise rigorously. I've taken to yoga and am now feeling muscles I haven't used in a long time. It's been a long time in general since I've done yoga. For those of you who knew me then, I totally injured myself doing yoga a few years ago, but don't worry, I'm being as gentle to myself as possible. I'm trying to set up a schedule for myself as much as possible. But really, without having a schedule or actual work to do (I declined to actually commit to work seeing as I only have a few days left) I'm just wandering around to people's houses saying goodbye. I'm also watching a lot of movies, reading a lot of books, and doing a lot of yoga. Oh what a strange ebb and flow of work as a PCV.
As I walk around town, I keep noticing small changes. A new sign here, a house painted a different color than what I remember. T-town is kind of rolling back into the Fall. School has apparently started but I know that there are still lots and lots of people still traveling and not yet back in town.
I remember two years ago, entering into PC and feeling superbly overwhelmed at the prospect of 2 years in a foreign country. I honestly did my best not to think about it. But now that it's over, I'm like, man, where did the time go? Even being back in T-town for a few days makes me squirrely. I know that I need to continue doing my goodbyes and look forward to coming home but my mind is so out to lunch. I'm trying to keep to my schedule but I know that I'm also trying to prepare for the future. I'm applying to jobs while making myself bagels here. I feel like I have one foot on this continent and one foot on the other. It's a weird cognitive dissonance. I know going home is going to take some major adjustments. I'm used to having incredibly slow internet, no tv, sharing food with everyone, including those I don't know, speaking constantly in Arabic or the little Tashylheit I know, meeting up with my counterpart, going to people's houses for crazy sweet mint tea, and generally all the time I spend hanging out in my house, listening to music, making new foods, etc.
I was just watching a movie (doesn't really matter which one it was, just that it was modern and done in a culturally western country) last night that made me think about the way we decorate our houses, dress, eat, sleep. It's so different from here. I feel like most people here are superbly friendly with me and I can count on most people to help me out in a bad situation. I kind of forgot that a lot of western houses have wood insides, plaster versus the cement or mud walls that are here. People outside Morocco don't necessarily dress in long robes and jellabas. When I go outside my house in America, I can wear my hair down, wear shorts and tank tops without attracting loads of harassment. Funny the things you get used to after being gone from America for so long.
Anyways, you've probably had enough of my incoherent babbling. I should probably go wander off to meet my counterpart anyways. It's rough leaving him and his association. He's so used to working with me and I with him. It's kind of a bittersweet time. I'm a bit sad to leave T-town but elated to go home.
